Widowed at a young age: How life changed when our husbands died

Reginah Lemasile of Kampi ya Moto lost her husband 14 years ago after a long illness, which she says was the hardest time of her life because she was left with three young children.

Her husband died when she was 32 years old. At such a young age, she felt stranded and alone, trying to figure out how to move on with her life, not to mention the fact that she had to close her ears and not listen to what people were saying about her.

"It was really hard for me because we used up all our savings on his medication, but I am glad I was able to stay strong through it all," says Reginah.

Reginah has moved from one odd job to another to support her children's education and maintenance, and is currently working as a seamstress from home.

She recalls that one of the memories she still cherishes is the love her husband had for her and the children.

"He was very strict, but he loved us immeasurably and that's one thing I still cherish and the children still remember," she says.

The 46-year-old notes that despite her husband's disability, he worked very hard and made a metal savings box to save for a better house for his family.

"He was also a good listener and would read stories to the children every night, even when he was in pain. I will always love him for that," she says.

She draws strength from a song called Usizunguke Chini by Burton King and Tumaini.

She wants to encourage young widows because they are easy targets because they are seen as helpless and weak.

Once widowed, many women face challenges such as shock and an inability to accept what has happened. Most cling to the loss, forgetting the memories they shared with their husbands.

For Doris Emily of Free Hold, losing her husband five years ago hit her like a wrecking ball.

"After my husband died, my health deteriorated considerably. I lost weight and it took me three years to accept that my husband had died," says Doris. 

She has since recovered and now works as a seamstress in Nakuru town, selling clothes, eggs and sausages to support her daughter's education and the family.

The 36-year-old tells Mtaa Wangu that her husband was a God-fearing man who loved spending time with his family.

"My husband used to use every free day and every free moment to spend time with us. He always made sure we went to church, helped with household chores and went shopping together," she says.

She adds that she wishes her husband was there when she faces difficulties because he used to provide solutions to most of her problems.

Emily notes that God and a great support system have helped her to remain strong five years after the tragedy.