House hunting in Mawanga: Where the washroom says hi first!
One of the houses in a flat that have the toilet at the entrance of the house.
House hunting will show you shege, but have you actually seen the atrocities of the houses we’re expected to live in?
When Mejja sang “Usiniharibie siku bana landlord,” he was talking about being asked for rent but allow us to stretch that context kidogo tu, because it perfectly captures this housing frustration.
For the longest time, apartment ownership was associated with Kikuyu landlords, but let’s be honest: at this point, wakenya wengi wamekam through, and home ownership is no longer exclusive.
This is where Mejja’s line comes in.
Landlords in Nakuru wametufika kwenye koo with some deciding that owning or renting a house means having your washroom outside your house that is still inside your house. Sijui kama tunaelewana?
Traditionally, a house layout starts with the sitting room as the entryway, then the kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom.
But these new-age apartments especially in Mawanga, Allnations, and some parts of Pipeline have taken a whole new layout concept.
Now, at the ‘entryway’, you’re welcomed by a sort of corridor that leads directly into a bathroom. Yes, your first stop ni loo.
There’s even a setup where you’ve got doors on either side of the corridor, one leading to the bathroom, the other to the kitchen, before you even reach the living room or bedroom.
Honestly, mbona niko ndani ya nyumba na nje ya nyumba at the same time?
And to make matters worse, with curtains that cost ‘one million’ shillings, you’re forced to budget for two sets of windows, one for the ‘entry corridor’ and another for the actual living room.
We haven’t even started on the landlords who make it a habit to put makabati kwa sitting room and call it an open kitchen layout or the ones who choose the most revolting coloured tiles and sell them as ‘modern’ finishes.
Surely landlord, tiles za loo zinafanya nini kwa sitting room?
Anyway, if you see your neighbours and colleagues quiet during house tours, just know they are silently negotiating with their spirit.
Because, kwa hii Nakuru, landlord ana-design house kama anaandika short story ya horror. Na bado ni 15k plus deposit kando for a one bedroom.