'Loving' Nakuru? Let's be honest

It started with ‘I Love Nairobi’.

And that’s fair enough. Despite its chaos, corruption, and the fact that you're more likely to lose your phone ukikaribishwa taon than find a sewer line that works when it rains lightly, and hits the ground. Because Haiwork, but, the city still manages to squeeze in a skyline, nightlife, and is lovable in its own way.

Then came ‘I Love Nakuru’.

I respect it. A city, proud of itself.

But it is now spiraling.

Suddenly, it was I Love Egerton. I love the Barn. Now it’s I Love Kiamunyi. And let’s face it, we may be bracing for ‘I Love Kiamunyeki’ - and honestly, at this point, someone’s probably printing it.

But who are these people who love Nakuru? And what, exactly, are they loving?

Is it its famously failed career as a ‘sherehe city?’ The high-rise apartments mushrooming on land that geologists keep warning us about? Or the charm of navigating potholes the size of Menengai Crater just to get to the CBD?

Don't get me wrong, perhaps there was something charming about Nakuru.

The flamingos. Menengai Crater. A bodaboda rider who knew your name.

But love? Deep, chest-thumping, billboard-declaring love? Let’s slow down.

And it’s not just Nakuru. It’s the spin-offs. Do you really love Kiamunyi, or are you just grateful you haven’t been carjacked in a while? Do you love Egerton—or do you just have three years left on your degree?

I’m not saying you shouldn’t love where you're from. But let’s be honest. This signage business has gone too far, and the flexing has us flexing on geshagi areas.

So we need to chill. And no, I won’t go first, but we need to chill. 

You love Nakuru? Ni sawa tu.

Just don’t ask me to pose in front of a giant heart until we have a cinema, a working drainage, and a CBD that doesn’t flood every time it threatens to drizzle, turning Gateiguru into Lake Nakuru 2.0.