When you have nothing in common with your all grown up cousins: Christmas family gatherings

Growing up, extended family gatherings were a highlight of my childhood. They were an opportunity to reconnect with cousins, share stories, and even tackle chores together.

One tradition stood out: after lunch, our parents would split into groups. The dads convened in the living room, while the moms gathered on the balcony or another designated spot.

Their discussions were serious, and though we weren’t allowed to be part of the conversation, we could sense their importance. And later on both groups would join for joint deliberations.

This tradition continues today, but things have changed now that we’re older. We no longer trail our parents. A turning point came when our matriarch encouraged us, the cousins, to organize our own parallel meetings.

The elder cousins took the lead, and for the past eight years, we’ve met three times a year to stay connected.

If you’ve struggled to maintain engaging and consistent family meetings, here are a few tips to make them more enjoyable and enduring:

1. Don’t Be Too Rigid

Keep the atmosphere relaxed and welcoming. Avoid formalities that might make the meeting feel like a chore.

2. Add Games to the Agenda

Games can break the monotony and energize the group. Offer a mix of indoor and outdoor activities to ensure there’s something for everyone.

3. Outsource catering

Free everyone from the burden of cooking and cleaning by hiring a local catering service. This way, the focus remains on bonding and enjoying the gathering.

4. Engage the younger generation

Involve younger family members in planning and discussions. Their ideas bring fresh energy and keep the meetings relevant and engaging.

5. Change the setting

Take a break from traditional home gatherings by exploring outdoor venues or planning activities like hiking. A change in environment can strengthen bonds and create lasting memories.

6. Be transparent about finances

Money can be a sensitive topic in families. Always maintain clear and open communication about group finances, ensuring records are accessible and trust is upheld.

7. Avoid personal conflicts

Family disputes should never overshadow the purpose of the gathering. Keep the agenda focused on connection and unity rather than personal grievances.

By incorporating these strategies, family meetings can become cherished traditions, fostering stronger relationships and creating meaningful experiences free from unnecessary tension.