The hustle of maintaining friendships after uni

After graduation from the university, life gets busy, and suddenly, you have a full-time job, and all you want to do after work is binge-watch your favourite show or listen to your favourite podcast. 

Connecting with friends feels like a chore, and before you know it, you’ve become a loaner with only one 'friend' from work who is almost retiring.

However, it is possible to keep your girl squad from uni alive and kicking by maintaining the relationships you developed while in college.

As human beings, we are social creatures who have an innate desire to belong. The need for a girl squad is completely normal, but so is not having one. 

Hellen Wambui says that it's important to let go of the pressure to have the perfect girl squad, which we tend to believe is ideal, especially when trying to maintain a campus girls' squad after uni.

"Female friendships have the power to be incredibly supportive and intimate, but they do not necessarily require a large number of members, and maintaining the friendships is all about effort," she says.

Wambui has maintained her two friends from campus even after graduating three years ago which she mentions is not easy to do.

"Friendships are expensive to maintain because, for instance, I have to travel to Nairobi because my friends are working in Nairobi, and I am in Nakuru and still pursuing my master's. We have meetings once a month unless agreed otherwise which is rare," she notes.

This, she notes, allows them to have something to look forward to and makes the distance feel more manageable.

Wambui notes that the meet-ups have been made mandatory to keep up with what each other is up to, but she notes it's not easy because when there are fights or disagreements, they have to find a solution.

"Fighting is normal but we cannot allow disagreement to come between us because we have to make amends before we meet," she notes.

She adds that to maintain the friendship, it requires one to be intentional.

"We have established daily check-ins online to help feel connected and be in the loop about each other's lives," she reveals.

No matter how many friends you have, what is important is that you feel comfortable simply being yourself with the people you count as your friends and can confide in them.