'I wanted the child, she had an abortion': The pain of 'almost' being a dad

Elton Koech* is a man carrying the weight of a story known all too well by men like him whose dream of being a father was cut short.

He begins, “During my campus days just like many other people, I met the love of my life. This was back in 2017. We lived together for the better part of my campus life and of course after we finished we moved in together. One thing led to another and my girlfriend became pregnant.”

For Elton, he received the news with so much joy. Seeing that he was already done with campus and had a steady income, becoming a father was the next natural step.

“I knew she was the one and I was more than ready to start a family with her. So, I welcomed the thought of becoming a dad” he smiles as he remembers the day when his girlfriend came into the bedroom with a pregnancy test in hand that had positive results.

Elton says that at the time he had already finished his internship and had been absorbed into one of the government parastatals in Nakuru.

“My partner and I decided to keep the baby and we even planned on how we would take things to the next step including meeting her parents,” he says.

Elton continues, “This was in December of 2022. I remember even thinking of taking a loan from a Sacco for us to move from a bedsitter to a one bedroom. My friends and family were very supportive and this really motivated me. I started reading books on how to take care of infants.”

However, the 31-year-old says that approaching the end of the first trimester of pregnancy the couple got into a fight that prompted his partner to stay with her friend.

“We reconciled after a few days and she moved back in. We had already moved into the new apartment. However, on the day she came back she wasn’t as joyful as always and she disturbed” he says.

Upon inquiry, Elton says the girlfriend informed him she was not comfortable keeping the baby and had made the decision to do away with the pregnancy.

“Honestly, I was very sad. I walked out and went to a small local where I drank my sorrows away. A lot was going through my mind at the time and I did not know what to do. I felt helpless” he recalls.

Elton says that by the end of that week the girl had moved out and he was all alone in the house. Seeing the baby coat and the few clothes he had bought wrecked him.

“I entered into a period of depression for a month or so and I started going for therapy. This really helped me. In 2022 I quit my job and moved back home,” he says.

Elton says that his dream of becoming a father is still very much alive but at the moment he is focusing on himself.

“I will be looking to date in the near future but as of now, I am looking to focus on my work and also uplifting myself” he says.

As the world marks Fathers’ day today, the thought of having his child who would be three years this day does not elude him.