Forget cool toys, my toddler is obsessed with a 'mwiko!'

When I was expecting my little bundle of joy, I had one mission; to buy toys, lots of toys.

I had this dream that one day, when she reached the “toy-appreciating age,” she’d be spoilt for choice.

I even bought a cute little toy basket, thinking, “This child will never know boredom under my roof.”

Then that day came, the day she finally noticed the toys. Picture this: me, standing like Rafiki in The Lion King, holding up the toy bag with the pride of a thousand mothers. “Nants ingonyama bagithi baba!”

I dramatically dropped the bag before her. My heart swelled with emotion.

She crawled over, paused, scanned the pile… and like fate itself, chose a yellow-nosed snowman doll. I was so proud as I thought, yes, she gets it. She’s a toy girl now.

Fast forward a few weeks, and my child decided that toys were too mainstream. Suddenly, she was more interested in spoons. Yes, regular, household spoons. 

The moment food hit the table, she’d throw a full-blown tantrum until she got her own spoon. And after the meal? She wouldn’t give it up, she’d walk around tapping it on the table.

Then she upgraded to the wooden cooking stick after she discovered the kitchen drawer (you know the one with all the mismatched plastic containers and lids?).

She’d pull out all the plastic cans and lids, throw them onto the floor like she was conducting an archaeological dig, then relocate them one by one to the sitting room like a highly committed warehouse manager.

One fateful day, I thought I could outsmart her and locked the drawer where I tried bribing her with the fancy toys I’d lovingly purchased over months… she looked at me, picked them up, and threw them away.

Now, the toy bag sits in a dark corner of the house where the new ritual has become opening the drawer and making sure no lid or plastic can remain in that drawer. 

And my job has become to collect them all, return them, and wait for tomorrow’s chaos.

And if you’re wondering if I am still buying toys? Yes. Absolutely. Why? Because I still have hope that one day, just maybe, she’ll wake up and use the toys instead.

To all the moms out there with abandoned toy collections and kids obsessed with spoons, lids, and cooking sticks let’s meet nyuma ya tent.

Or better yet, ebu check WhatsApp kidogo. We need to talk.