Downtown Nairobi diaries: Where buses fly, people swarm and twilight girls rule the night

I have been to Nairobi before but every time I visit "shamba la mawe" there is always a new experience. 

The latest escapade was this Friday when I went to the infamous downtown Nairobi and let me tell you Maina, weeh! 

In Nakuru our version of downtown can be equated to the area around Wakulima market, Free Area matatu stage and Naivas downtown. 

In these places, the craziness is usually intense compared to other parts of town. But then ladies and gentlemen there is Nakuru craziness and then there is Nairobi insanity. 

First of all, the relationship between pedestrians and motorists is toxic. A second is all that separates you from being a victim of a hit and run accident.

The common decency of motorists to allow pedestrians to cross the road just isn't there. The sooner you cross the road and avoid being hit the better.

Wewe ukigongwa na nganya ni shida yako, we will sympathize and move on. 

In Nakuru by 8 pm, the town is a ghost town. However, at the capital city, 8 pm the town is coming alive.

The streets are full, overcrowded to say the least. At every turn, you keep bumping into people. It seemed common for Nairobians since no one had the common decency to say sorry or excuse me. 

A decision to use a less crowded street turned out to be jumping from the frying pan into the fire. 

Here I met the "ladies of the night". In their short skirts with white roses in their hands waving them around. One would think, they were doing an advert for a roses company. 

" Wewe ni tall, dark and handsome. Si twende?” one of them says to me. 

"Tupande kwa room!! " another chides. 

While this statement was being passed along, another caressed my shoulder. I wondered kwani huku ni wapi.

You see back in Nakuru, their counterparts lurk in dark alleys and they don’t have the courage to touch you. 

I could not wait to move away from that street. The experience left me feeling abused.

But I did not have time to process all that. For no sooner had we finished that street than a city hoppa reversed, without a care in the world of those passing behind it, forcing me to duck and jump into a pothole full of water just to save my life.

I have never seen a pothole filled with dirty water on top of a walking pavement. 

Like why isn't this water running by the side of the road and why are the pavements the ones flooded with water. Sasa watu watatembea wapi jameni!

Nakuru, I know we have our own drainage problems lakini things in Nairobi seem worse. 

Since I did not have an option, for reasons beyond my control, I found myself sleeping in Downtown Nairobi, but there was no sleeping. 

I could hear the DJ from a nearby club playing " all my enemies are suffering" on repeat.

The loud music and shouting by revelers keeping me awake, made me believe I am an enemy to many people and the suffering I was going through was because of them. 

Anyway, Nakuru my love, here I come.

Nairobi, till next time!