How to remain professional when work and friendships collide

Glory Mwangi works as a Program Officer at a multinational organization, where she began her career in a lower-level position and steadily rose through the ranks.

"I started as an intern alongside a few colleagues who quickly became friends, although the dynamics have changed over time," she shares.

Glory explains that everything felt smooth when they were all on the same level, but things began to shift once new opportunities arose. The real turning point came when she was appointed to lead the project that covered more counties and was a life changing opportunity.

"Most of my colleagues are male, and some of them had expected to be chosen for the role themselves, which made the transition more complicated," she says.

While the friendships weren’t completely broken, Glory noticed subtle changes in behaviour. "We still talk, but things are different. For example, when I request reports, some would delay sending them, or they’d send a bulk of documents expecting me to sift through and find what I needed myself."

Once she recognized the pattern, Glory decided to set firm boundaries and made it clear that she wouldn't tolerate disrespect.

"I did notice some slight improvement after that, but male chauvinism still shows up quite often," she admits.

Eunice Victoria a career coach, points out that “the most beautiful relationship in the world is friendship,” but when those relationships form in the workplace, their beauty can be complicated by professional expectations and can also become problematic if not managed carefully.

Despite these risks, Victoria doesn’t advocate for an “all-or-nothing” approach to friendships at work. Instead, she recommends having strategies to ensure that these relationships remain positive and professional.

“First, it’s important to discuss boundaries openly. When expectations are clearly communicated, misunderstandings are less likely. Transparency keeps friendships from being soiled and helps others understand where the lines are drawn,” she advises.

She notes that another crucial step is to reflect on what’s fueling your friendships. Are they based on shared values and goals, or simply mutual frustration? Friendships rooted in negativity can be toxic, both to individuals and the organisation, and often lead to disengagement and high turnover.

Additionally, understand that it’s perfectly fine not to “click” with everyone at work. Being friendly doesn’t require being close friends, and different relationships can have different levels of closeness.

Ultimately, workplace friendships can be a source of great strength, but only when handled with respect, self-awareness, and professionalism.

As Victoria emphasizes, “You can be a great colleague and a great friend. But never forget: your first job at work is to be a professional.”